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Aug. 21st, 2009 @ 04:40 am Are you kidding? I can't sleep!
I feel like a little kid at Christmas, only I'm a grown woman and instead of getting presents I'm getting a grown man.
Excitedddddd.

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Aug. 18th, 2009 @ 05:08 pm 62 hours to get better. Well shit.
The Mood: sick
Josh is on the ferry yay! Finally. haha.
Too bad when he gets here Friday morning I'm gonna be a big ball of snot.
Hahhaa I haven't gotten a cold in like 2 years, and I haven't had one this bad since before I got my nose ring when I was 18, (cos I've discovered how amazing it is to have a nose ring when you have a cold- I can actually breathe out of one nostril!!!), so of course I get a terrible cold right as he's coming home. Ohh well. It'll be nice to have him here, even if he ends up taking care of me for a few days. haha.


oh, and as of tomorrow Apex Property Management will no longer have a piece of my soul. Fuck yes. Turning my keys in and good riddance.

And I might even make it to work tomorrow. I called in sick today. blahh. We'll see. It sucks cos I need the money, but it sucks cos I'm trying to get better by Friday as much as I can and standing up for 8 hours and talking to people and moving around a lot for the next 2 days isn't really gonna help. And I have soo much to do here still before Josh gets home...like cleaning everything and moving everything to the garage, and laundry....
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Aug. 11th, 2009 @ 07:22 pm 9 days, 12 hours, 36 minutes, 53 seconds
The Mood: frustrated
I just want time to speed up. I have so much to look forward to, and I waste so much time waiting.

In the same vein of thought:
I am getting real tired of people who say they'll call and never do.
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Aug. 4th, 2009 @ 07:00 pm [no subject]
Josh isn't coming home til the 21st now.
I am so..upset.
Why would you tell someone you're coming home one day, let them get all excited for like 3 weeks, and then say you're not coming home til a week later? bah.

I've already taken time off work planning for him to come home the 14th.
August is completely blacked out so no one at work can take any more days off.
So I'm gonna be working the entire week we're in the same town and then I'm going to LA. And when I get back he'll be gone.

Well that's great.
And to top it off, the entire time we talked today we were talking about this, and now I'm pretty sure he's mad at ME.
Seriously, you can't just expect me to take that with an ok, yeah. and a conversation topic change. You have to give me awhile to deal with it first. You all know that by now, right? My knee-jerk reactions to things are horrendous.
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Jul. 29th, 2009 @ 10:52 pm better.
The Mood: hot and happy
I talked to Josh tonight :) He's done fishing. 2 weeks left!  SO. EXCITED.
He said he was going to get me a present in Juneau that was special. I wonder what it could be.
AND we picked out days to go down to Portland!! awesome :)
That puts the stress out of requesting time off. It's over a month in advance so it shouldn't be a problem hopefully.
so if you wanna hang out we'll be down the 12 or 13 or 14 of september through the 19th at the latest :)
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Jul. 26th, 2009 @ 09:25 pm good day!
About 90% moved in to my new place! It's super nice so far. I hope Heidi doesn't mind boxes everywhere for the next few days. I haven't quite gotten a chance to unpack yet. My room's looking a lot better than it did this morning though! It only took us 2 hours to move completely. Which is awesome. And so fast. We beat the heat for the most part which was good cos it was HOT today.  Then it was off to a brewfest that was randomly happening in downtown Bellingham, which was really fun actually. Got to try a lot of different beers and hang out for a few hours.  Then I unpacked and wound down.  Now I'm here and I am tired! ugh. I got to text Josh a lot today too cos he was in an area with spotty service. He comes home the 14th for sure now :) I'm so excited to see him!!
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Jul. 23rd, 2009 @ 09:51 pm I can't really describe this very well...
The Mood: overwhelming love
I have faith that I have a place in this big pattern of life, and that when my mark or contribution to the pattern has been made then I'll go quietly and without a battle.
Not everyone can be the pattern after all- some people have to be the background color in every tapestry. Otherwise it wouldn't be complete.  In the end we're all just the same and just as useful.  I know that I can be strong and go through life with these convictions. The bone may break but the marrow remains regardless.

Oh please just treat everyone with kindness. Help people when they really need help. Never LET people die alone. And let the ones you love truly be first in your life, even if it's detrimental to you.

That's all you can do, and hope others do the same.
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Jul. 22nd, 2009 @ 09:54 pm Just being myself.

Tonight after work I hung out with Blake and Andy for a few hours, and Morgan for about 5 minutes. I won't go into details. It's not important.

I guess getting a glimpse of my old life makes me realize how good I have it, how much I love myself and who I've become, how much I love the people in my life, and, in this situation especially, how lucky I am to have Josh in my life and how important he really is to me.


Super cheesy. Sorry.

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Jul. 18th, 2009 @ 10:16 am [no subject]
The Mood: sick
Hmm packing. annoying! So much to do still! But the closet's pretty much empty and that was the intimidating part. Also, as long as the big furniture is moved I can do everything else myself if I run out of time...cos I don't technically have to be out of here til August 22nd. So I may leave the kitchen and bathroom stuff for later...

In other news the guy who lives upstairs definitely works with Eric. This town is incredibly too small.

A few days ago I got to talk to Josh! For a long time this time. It was really nice. I miss him a lot, but there's less than a month left now :) He should be back by the 15th of August.
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Jul. 17th, 2009 @ 02:02 am Note I'm putting on my neighbor's door when I move out:
Dear John and Alison,

Although hearing you fight all year has been incredibly entertaining, may I suggest that you keep it to the daylight hours please? I don't really appreciate being awoken once a week at 2am due to your rampant screaming and crying and other insane dynamics, Alison.  John seems like a nice guy who's trying to please you. Maybe you should stop calling his mom a "fucking bitch" and accusing him of cheating all the time, or coming home drunk.  Seems like your relationship might get a little healthier that way. Also, please stop crying and screaming.  That pretty pretty princess attitude is only pissing off all your neighbors and increasing the likelihood that if John isn't cheating on you already, then he certainly will be in the future cos I'd hate to be in a relationship with you too. John- I suggest you grow a pair and break up with her already.  She doesn't seem worth it.

-a concerned neighbor
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Jul. 13th, 2009 @ 03:52 pm [no subject]
ok seriously if my car isn't out of the shop tomorrow I'm going to go insane. I have a week to pack and I work all week and I don't have any fucking boxes because my car's been in the shop for a week and I have no way to get any since I've been busing it to work for a week now ugh. AND I'm running out of food. And it's raining out and I'm not too keen on waiting in the rain for a bus, then another bus. ugh.

And I haven't heard from Josh in 2 weeks. Nothing. No phone call. No text message. No facebook message. No letter. Nothing. I'm starting to get worried and anything would be nice...but it's out of his control completely so I can't even be mad about it.

Time is going by so slowly and I just want it to be mid-August already. Either that or actually busy. Instead I'm trapped at my house during my weekend with nothing to do.

I'm losing my mind. I literally haven't talked to a human being in 24 hours.
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Jul. 11th, 2009 @ 03:15 pm [no subject]
Car's still in the shop...til Monday. SO. LAME. Without my car I feel like I'm trapped here. AND I have to take the bus to work on Sunday again, meaning I have to get up 2 hours earlier than I normally would. ugh.

Steve's in town, hung out with the guys last night. That was fun.

Haven't heard from Josh since the 2nd. It's now the 11th. Ugh. I miss him. I should be hearing from him in the next 5 days though. If I don't then I'm gonna start getting worried...and I hope he calls on a day that I don't work, cos last time I was working a 9-hour shift and I called during my lunch but he was in the library and I called when I got off work but he kept cutting out cos he was already on the water again.

There you go, work ruining everything yet again...
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Jul. 4th, 2009 @ 11:39 am [no subject]
I picked up an extra 7 and a half hours at work this week...4.5 of which are today meaning holiday pay yeah! Not like I'm doing anything today anyways...everyone's gone or working.

Money to be used for: trip to LA to visit Kelly at the end of the summer, and to replen my sugar mama fund

Josh was in port a few days ago and that was wonderful to be able to text so much and actually talk on the phone twice..even if it was cutting out so much and even though I had an 8 hour shift that day :/. Won't be able to hear from him for a week to 2 weeks now though..
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Jun. 23rd, 2009 @ 02:39 pm [no subject]
The Mood: bouncy
Alright. I think I found a place to live. For real. I wouldn't be living alone, but she seems pretty cool. She's a coworker whom I never work with so it's not like I'd get sick of her or anything. Plus I'm quitting as soon as school starts, or by November 1st,  most likely. I really want to spend the holidays with my family for once, unlike the last 2 years.

But anyways, this place. It's a duplex down on the residential side of 21st. kind of away from campus a bit.  It's got a yard, washer/dryer, garage...it's kind of small on the inside and I'd have to share a bathroom but Beavis would be allowed to live there and Josh and I may be able to put in a garden.  Also, it's a private owner so no more property management companies to deal with. 

I'm pretty excited anyways. One less thing to stress about.
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Jun. 13th, 2009 @ 02:39 pm bullshit.
The Mood: crushed
Do I just give off those vibes that say:
"Hey, it's alright. You can totally use me as a rebound. I don't mind at all. You can conveniently forget to tell me the entire situation too. I'll like that even better."
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May. 30th, 2009 @ 01:00 pm [no subject]
The Mood: tired
ants have invaded our apartment. disgusting.

i'm so tired. this is ridiculous.
i'm pumping my body so full of drugs right now.
it's kind of disgusting to think about how many pills i take a day.
7.
sometimes 8.
what the hell.

in other news, i can sure be a silly insecure little girl sometimes. ugh i don't like it at all. i just have to use reason to talk myself out of this!
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May. 4th, 2009 @ 12:34 pm [no subject]
well fuck me I can't even make it to school when I want to go these days. Seriously. Finally went in to the health center today and it took 2 hours to take a few blood samples! Cos the first time they fucked up so I had to get my arms re-pricked and the blood drawn again. Awesome. So now I feel like shit and have no answers other than the fact that mono has been ruled out and some other virus is most likely the cause.

Great. Back to the health center Wednesday. haha.
so yeah called in sick to work today and it's already loking like a good idea. my left arm hurts. a lot. 7 hour shift? no thanks.
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Apr. 7th, 2009 @ 06:45 pm [no subject]
The Mood: depressed
stupid apex found beavis and now he has to leave :(
I don't know what I'll do without him
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Mar. 28th, 2009 @ 12:02 am the crisp air and the clouds
sometimes I feel like dying just to see what that big last final adventure is really all about.
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Mar. 17th, 2009 @ 04:01 pm rant and rave
The Mood: annoyed
I hate it when I hear people in the locker room complain about their weight and how they gained a pound or omg only lost 1. what the hell.  these are the same people who are all like uhmm is the rec center closed over break? what about the summer? oh the gym is open til 11? I thought it closed at 6? these are the same people who work out and then say they're going out to eat twice a week next quarter instead of three times a week cos they're 'cutting back'. these are the same people who change clothes in a bathrom stall instead of the locker room because their self esteem is so low they don't even want to be seen in their underwear by girls, let alone the opposite sex. these are the people who talk about working out to get in shape for summer but you know and they know they'll stop going to the gym as soon as next quarter starts up hard at week 2.

gahh. they're doing so much wrong it's insane. this is not the way to lose weigt and keep it off! this is not the way to a healthy lifestyle!
do it right or get out of the gym and off my machines! hhaaaa. seriously. the gym is always so crowded at the end of and beginning of every quarter. it's so annoying!
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